小手拉大手 Hands in hands

1st December 2015  /  life upon life

一个星期终于过去了,也终于到周日中午了。妈妈一定站在宿舍门口等我把,心想。于是飞奔似的跑向宿舍,果不其然,遥远便看见妈妈在门口张望,于是又加快了几分。妈妈脸上七分欢喜,二股欣慰,一丝责难,说道:“急什么?别跑那么快,听到没?”一边说着,一边将香喷喷的菜摆放在小桌上。“哇,糖醋排骨,红烧肉,排骨汤……妈,你发财了?”我惊讶地问道,妈妈腼腆地说:“还不是怕你在学校吃不好吗?”心里阵阵感感动,于是抱住了妈妈,“妈,你对我真好。” 回望了四周,父亲果然没来啊,切。心里默想。记忆碎片被一点一点打捞上岸,父亲的身影开始清晰:喝酒,抽烟,沉默。记得有一次开家长会,父亲终于不再如以前的沉默,兴高采烈地如同孩子般,喷了发胶,穿了西装,仔细照着镜子好一会儿,拉着我的手,说道:“走,一起去参加家长会。”我用力挣脱,喊道:“才不要呢,跟你去没意思。我要找我妈妈去。”转过身去,再也不见父亲的脸。关系变得更加陌生,如同相隔两岸。心里不经有几分失落,妈妈似乎看出我的失落,于是怅然道:“其实你们之间可以不用这样,知道吗?当他知道要给你送菜时,自己早起去菜场买菜,亲自挑选最好的菜。而且也不是没有来,只是没上来。”半信半疑地走到阳台上,一个中年男子的身影顿时跳入视线里:正倚着一棵树抽烟,脚下已有数根烟头,头发掩盖着几根白发,在阳光下,熠熠闪光。父亲抬头向我这望了一眼,慌张扔下手中香烟,转身离开,不久又回来给香烟踩上了几脚再走。滑稽的一幕令人笑容浮现。于是下了楼,走向父亲,拉着他的手,说:“走,一起去宿舍吧。”父亲似被我的笑容传染,脸上也洋溢着幸福。魏进宝A week had passed and it was finally at a Sunday noon. Mom must be waiting for me at the dormitory, I thought. And I ran fast to our dormitory. As expected, I could see mom standing there looking around from distance. So I sped up. Seeing me, 70 percent of happiness, 20 percent of relief and 10 percent of blame appeared on mom’s face, she said: “ Take your time, don’t run too fast like that. Do you hear me?” While she was placing delicious dishes on my small table, I asked in surprise: “Wow! The sweet and sour spare-ribs ,red-cooked pork and rib soup....did you make a fortune, mom?” She replied: “ In case that you can’t eat well in school, I have made what you like the best.” I was greatly moved and hugged my mom tightly and said : “ mom, you are so nice to me.” Then I looked around but couldn’t find my dad’s figure. Certainly he wouldn’t come, I didn’t care at all, I thought. Fragments of memories of my father gradually emerged in my heart, more and more clear. Alcohol, cigarettes and silence were nothing but him. I could remember there was once a parents-teachers meeting, my father didn’t stay silent anymore. He even took on his black suit, put on some hair spray, and looked carefully in the mirror. Then he took up my hands happily like a child and said: “Let’s go! Let’s go to the  meeting!” I struggled to get rid of his hands, shouting: “ no! It doesn’t make any sense to go with you! I want my mom to accompany me!” But when I turned back, I couldn’t no longer see my father’s face. Since then , the gap between us was becoming bigger and bigger, as if we were living in separated worlds. Back to the reality, I could still feel at a loss, which my mom had sensed. She signed: “ Actually you and your father shouldn’t have been like this, do you know? He always knew today was the day to deliver meals for you, and he went alone to the market to pick up the best ingredients in the early morning. And in fact, he did come but didn’t come in.” Being dubious, I walked to the balcony and looked down, and a middle-aged man’s figure jumped into my sight: he was leaning on a tree and smoking ,with several cigarette butts already on the ground. His gray hair was shining in the sunlight. Accidently he caught a glimpse of me, then he dropped his cigarette hastily and left, but soon he turned back to tread out the cigarette butts. I widened my mouth on witnessing the funny scene. Then I ran down stairs and walked to my father, taking up his hands and said: “let’s go! Let’s go to my dormitory!” Affected by my smile, my father’s face was beaming with happiness.Jinbao Wei