Don't let your love become a distant care 不要让你的爱,变成遥远的牵挂

1st December 2015  /  life upon life, highlight

My aged grandpa is no longer flexible and he talks less since last serious illness. Tall as he was, he now has shrunk into a stoop old man, which is of utter difference to what he used to be like that you can hardly imagine. It seems that grandpa has aged overnight after returning from the hospital. It's probably because I need to go to school that I don't have much time to visit him, and usually I only stay with him for half a day every time I come to see him. Then I leave for home after a hurried meal. 

I can hardly remember the last time I went to visit him, but what impressed me most was my grandpa’s eyes when I was leaving. He has one blind eye though, I could still see the tears in his eyes shining and his lifted mouth from the rear view mirror of the car. He was happy, despite the fact that it was only a short-time reunion. And I could clearly see the loss as well as anticipation through his weathered eyes. 

I know that my grandpa will always remember what I like the most and leave the best for me. And I know it that my grandpa will look through the pictures of mine again and again when I'm not there. So many times I have forced myself not to look back and not even to think about it, but it is a truth that my grandpa won't stay with me forever and he will finally be taken away by time, detaching from my life and existing there in my memories. Sometimes I even weep over it and wet the pillow. Even by now I wish I could fly back to him and stay with him longer as he is still there and I still have chances to do so. 

It is too late to regret when losing it. I hope the love in your heart would never become a distant care. 

Qi Zhang